A couple of months ago my husband went away on a 10 day camping trip.
I know to some of you this will sound ridiculous because you are used to FIFO life or hubby working away or being a single mum, but I’m not.
The longest time hubby has been away for is 4 nights (once) and then 5 weeks when he was sick in hospital but I went and saw him everyday so it was a little different to now, with a 5 year old sensitive girl, a 2 year old handful boy and a 31 week old pregnant heavy belly.
I knew the best thing to do was to prepare myself, mind and body mostly mind to get through this time without
1. Totally being mentally exhausted.
2. Holding a grudge against husband when he returns.
3. Forgetting that I’m a woman and a fucking superhero.
What came to mind first on how I would prepare was to think of what made me happy and feel good. I wrote a bunch of things down and then started to plan out how I could make these things happen.
I actually believe that doing the Hypnobirthing program only 2 weeks earlier made a big impact on preparing me too, without even knowing it. Things like the breathing techniques, relaxation techniques, meditating, releasing fear and being reminded and empowered on how incredibly STRONG US WOMEN ARE.
After writing these ideas down I decided I would try to do at least one of these each day, no matter how small it was it was my priority for the day. I’m sharing these 10 days of self love with you in the hope that you will try and do at least just one of them if not all ten for yourself make you feel a little more sane in these crazy days that 2020 has turned out to be.
So whether your partner works away, you are on your own or even if your partner is home, this is your reminder to practice self love.
Day 1. Bedtime one hour earlier
This is not for the kids but for you (bonus if you get the kids down an hour earlier). You will be amazed how much better you feel the next day.
I know it’s hard because you fight against that whole but this is the only time to myself once the kids are down and I’m so guilty of this but going to bed early far out weighs that and how you feel the next day.
Day 2. Journaling
I love writing so this one is second nature to me but for some it’s not as easy. I usually just write what comes to mind first. I also love journaling in the kids diaries with all their little milestones, funny quotes etc. You can also write yourself a self love letter, for example write down everything that your love about yourself, the things you are proud of etc..
If you are unsure where to start or what to write about Steph Pase from @justanothermummyblog has written a great blog on journaling and includes 9 daily journal prompts to get you started.
Day 3. Self love bath
Find time even if it’s just 10 mins to wind down and take a bath especially made for YOU. Put your favourite bath soak in, make it special put some relaxing music on and just lay there and relax. I love my Mindful Muscles Bath Soak from Lavish Aromas and I just add my own home grown lavender for a little extra scent and relaxation. She does a heap of beautiful bath soaks and bath bombs if you are in need of some new ones!
This little self love will not only relax you and make you have a nice night sleep but will also make your skin feel amazing…..you will thank me later!
Day 4. Read a book or listen to a podcast
Turn everything off around you and pick up that book you have been wanting to read in a long time.
Make a cup of tea, find a quiet corner in your house or anywhere else and get comfy.
If a book is not your thing then find a podcast that interests you and do the same thing, make a cuppa and find that quiet, comfy spot to settle in.
The choices are endless with either books or podcasts and it’s up to each individual what you like to read or listen too.
Whether that be reading a good crime book or go more the motivational books, personally for me it depends on my mood.
Same goes with the podcasts, whilst we were travelling I really enjoyed listening to travel podcasts like How To Live In Denmark by Kay Xander Mellish. At the moment I’ve been listening to Woo Is The New Podcast by Georg Woulfe.
Day 5. Do a face/body Scrub
I love this one and it wasn’t until I found a really nice face scrub that I actually enjoyed doing this, so I recommend finding a face scrub or a face mask that you like, the texture, the smell, it all makes a difference and once you find one you love you’ll enjoy this too.
The one I fell in love with is a coffee scrub (I don’t even like or drink coffee) but I do love the smell of it! Which this scrub not only smells delicious but it makes your skin feel reborn again as smooth as babies skin. This one is also from Lavish Aromas.
Day 6. Make a booking for the future
Take some time to sit down and find a date/weekend and make a booking with your girlfriends for a night or weekend away.
Or find a day you can do lunch or dinner with a friend.
It’s easy to get caught up in everyday life and all of a sudden you wake up and realize you haven’t actually seen another adult for days/weeks and the people at Coles do not count! No!
To actually spend some quality time with positive friends. You know, the ones that have your back the ones that don’t judge you, the ones that you may not see for months but nothing has changed when you do see them and most importantly the ones that make you laugh so hard your cheeks hurt!
By doing this you will have something to look forward to and by actually booking it in, there is no turning back and cancelling it.
Do not feel guilty one bit, no one deserves this more then YOU. Enjoy x
Day 7. Meditate
I’ll be honest and say I’m new to this one and only just recently started meditating.
I’ve always been interested in the concept of it but never got around to it or knew where to start.
Since doing Hypnobirthing I was recommended some birth meditation tracks which I have started listening to as I go to sleep and find them so relaxing. I do prefer guided meditation tracks as I’m still learning the technique of turning my brain off, which I find the guided ones help me do just that.
Day 8. Ask for help
That’s right call in some help!
I am not very good at this one so do as I write not as I do LOL…..
I know it’s terrible but I feel awful asking someone to look after my kids so that I can go and do something fun or relaxing but I’m starting to learn that the benefit is as much for me as it is for the kids and even for the person looking after them especially if they are family members like grandparents or aunts/uncles for their binding time too.
I’m fortunate enough to be able to use childcare too, which gives me a day here and there to catch up on things.
I did read a thing the other day, which I really liked and thought was very true which I’ll share with you which I think all mums can relate to.
When a mum says she needs a break,
she does not mean….
– Grocery shopping without kids
– Cleaning the house without kid helpers
– Running errands without little passengers
– Taking the kids to do something fun without her,
when she has to miss out to do something above
– Having a shower alone (while still hearing the kids screaming)
These are not breaks, these are her tasks made slightly easier and only increase
her “mum guilt” because she still needs a break but has been told she got one.
Help from partners is not a luxury and basic hygiene is not self-care.
Quote – Unknown
Day 9. What makes you happy
Take some time to really think about what makes YOU happy and once you have that answer, do just that!
Whether it be having a massage, getting your nails done, going for a walk, having your hair done, starting art classes, dance classes or joining a gym.
Have a real good think about it. It might be something so simple and comes to mind straight away or you might need to dig a little deeper into your past on what it is that you miss. Whatever it is that you have been missing out on make it happen.
Day 10. Get Organized
This for me is an important one in everyday life to make myself feel better and help me when I get overwhelmed.
I find if I write things down it helps clear up my head space a little. A bit like a shopping list, how many times have you gone to the shops without your shopping list you get distracted, you buy everything that wasn’t on the list and nothing that was on the actual list!
That’s a bit like how my brain feels if I don’t write it down, I forget things that I have booked in and start thinking of new things before finishing what I initially wanted to do. I get scattered with what I was meant to be doing and end up not doing anything at all.
So for me I write it down, much like a to do list for everything that comes to mind, I find even having a note pad next to my bed to write those brilliant ideas down that come to mind at 2am!
I also find it handy to write down my plan for the week and even the month, this way I feel I have more control over what is happening and so does everyone else in the household.
You can get little note pads and calendars from places like Kmart etc.
My ones that I use and find super helpful and also pretty are
from Steph Pase Planners by @justanothermummyblog.
I have a code for 15% off NICOLE15.
Now just because I’ve written this as 10 days doesn’t mean you only do it for 10 days. You can do it every day we should be doing it everyday,
hell we deserve it.
But we all know time gets away from us so even if you spread these 10 days over a month or add in your own self love ideas.
I just knew that mentally to get me through those 10 days I needed a plan.
Some seem so little and only take 5 mins but to be honest after a long day of being mum, dad, teacher, nurse, cleaner, party planner, chef, monster killer, storyteller, magician, coach, alarm clock, photographer, comforter, counselor, driver, snack bitch, bum wiper, negotiator, mediator and everything else in between you only have the energy for 5mins of self love.
But remember 5 mins is better than none at all.
I hope after reading this you feel inspired to try some new self love care or be reminded that you are incredible strong and and that you mumma have got this and if you feel like you don’t have it together sometimes, then that is okay too. I can assure you that you are not alone.
You are doing an amazing job!
Thank you for reading and feel free to reach out if you need to chat and I’d love to hear how you created your self love moment.
This blog is no way sponsored.
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